Warning: The following article may cause unexpected feelings of warmth, nostalgia, and a case of “something in my eye.” Proceed with tissues at the ready, and a glass of wine close by—it pairs well with heartfelt moments and a touch of holiday magic!

Thanksgiving has long been a holiday that pulls us into the comforting embrace of tradition, with the tantalizing aroma of roast turkey and the cozy chaos of family dynamics. But if you look back at the origins of Thanksgiving, you’ll notice a curious inconsistency—the date itself isn’t set in stone. Let’s uncork the history of this holiday, savor its flavors, and reflect on how to navigate the complexities of a family gathering while ensuring the wine flows smoothly.

The Original Thanksgiving: A Shifting Feast

The first Thanksgiving wasn’t quite the yearly autumnal celebration we know today. The “original” Thanksgiving dates back to 1621, when the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag shared a three-day feast, celebrating the harvest and giving thanks for survival. This wasn’t an annual event but rather a one-time gathering. The notion of Thanksgiving as a regular holiday took shape much later, morphing through various proclamations and dates until 1863, when President Abraham Lincoln declared the final Thursday of November a national day of “Thanksgiving and Praise.”

However, it wasn’t until 1941 that the U.S. Congress officially settled on the fourth Thursday of November as the official holiday—ensuring Thanksgiving would always fall on a Thursday but allowing for the exact date to shift year by year. This decision had practical roots, allowing more time for Christmas shopping (and what better excuse for an extra bottle of wine at dinner?).

Traditions with a Side of Turkey

Thanksgiving traditions revolve around food—bountiful platters of turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, and pies. But the true core of the holiday lies in its purpose: to gather, reflect, and give thanks. Every family has its unique customs, from passing heirloom dishes to debating the best way to prepare the cranberry sauce (whole berries or smooth jelly?). The table itself, set with the finest (or most festive) tableware, symbolizes more than just a meal; it’s about unity, continuity, and sharing the bounty of the year.

When it comes to the wines that elevate this annual feast, a sommelier’s advice is to let the meal be your guide. Start with a sparkling wine, like a refreshing Prosecco or a fuller-bodied Franciacorta, to cleanse the palate and set a festive tone. For the turkey, nothing beats a Pinot Noir—its light body and cherry notes complement both white and dark meat without overpowering the sides. If you’re craving a white, Viognier or Chardonnay are fantastic companions, with the former offering floral notes that enhance herb stuffing and the latter providing a buttery richness that pairs wonderfully with mashed potatoes and gravy.

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As the dessert course arrives—laden with pumpkin pie, pecan pie, or apple crisp—consider a luscious Late Harvest Riesling or a Tawny Port to bring out the sweetness and toast the end of the meal.

Family, Feasts, and Finding Harmony

The food and wine are easy enough to handle—it’s the family dynamics that tend to complicate things. We’ve all heard the jokes about Thanksgiving dinners devolving into debates over politics, decades-old grievances resurfacing, or the inevitable tension that follows someone’s ill-timed comment. While these moments have become a lighthearted cliché, the reality is often far less amusing. For some families, these conflicts run so deep that they create divides too wide to bridge, leaving loved ones dining in separate corners instead of coming together around the same table.

The irony is that Thanksgiving, a day meant to celebrate gratitude and togetherness, often becomes a reflection of what’s missing. Petty disputes and stubborn pride can overshadow shared memories and accomplishments, turning what could be a time of joy into a painful reminder of fractured relationships. But what if we shifted the focus? What if, instead of rehashing old arguments, we used this day to honor those we’ve lost and to strengthen the bonds with those still here? There’s a delicate balance between grieving and celebrating, honoring traditions and embracing change, connecting with family and respecting the distance we sometimes need.

Here’s where tolerance, empathy, and perhaps a well-timed glass of wine come into play. Over the years, I’ve found that the right pairing of patience and perspective—much like the perfect wine with a meal—can be a bridge to reconciliation. After all, isn’t the heart of Thanksgiving about putting aside differences, pulling up a chair, and reflecting on the things that truly matter?

Start with Gratitude, Literally
Begin the meal with a toast to something positive. It doesn’t need to be a grand gesture, but a simple “cheers” to good food, shared moments, or a fond memory can set a warm tone. Choose a gentle, crowd-pleasing wine like a Sauvignon Blanc—light, crisp, and unlikely to provoke strong reactions.

Pace Yourself and the Pourings
Wine is meant to be enjoyed, not used as a shield or sword in family disputes. Encourage moderate consumption by serving in smaller glasses and offering water breaks between courses. A light-bodied red like Beaujolais Nouveau, which is released just in time for Thanksgiving, is a friendly choice that keeps things bright without going overboard.

Be the Buffer, Not the Barrel
If you see a conversation heading toward dangerous territory, redirect with something lighthearted or anecdotal—ideally something wine-related. “Did you know that wine pairing was practically invented to solve disputes? Imagine the 19th-century French debating terroir over a bottle!” A little humor goes a long way, especially if paired with a versatile crowd-pleaser like Zinfandel or Merlot.

Acknowledge Losses Gently
Thanksgiving is a time when empty chairs at the table are more intensely felt. If the subject arises, don’t shy away—acknowledge the grief. Raising a glass to absent friends and family with a rich and contemplative wine like a Cabernet Sauvignon can turn a potentially somber moment into a collective act of remembrance, binding everyone together in a quiet, shared reflection.

Here’s to the chairs that are filled, and to those that are empty. To the laughter we’ve shared and the tears we’ve shed. For the moments we hold close and the loved ones who couldn’t be here tonight, but remain forever in our hearts. May we cherish each other a little more, forgive a little quicker, and never take for granted the time we have. Let’s raise a glass to the beauty of this moment—imperfect, fleeting, and exactly enough. To family, to friends, to memories, and to love that endures. Cheers!

Gregory Dean, SOMM&SOMM

Let the Wine Lead to Conversations, Not Arguments
Use wine as a talking point. Discuss the meal’s pairing choices, reminisce about past holiday gatherings, or share a funny story involving a cork mishap (e.g. the time Tammy hit a pedestrian with a Champagne cork). Engaging your guests in a shared experience of tasting encourages connection, whether they’re aficionados or casual drinkers. A dessert wine like a Port or Sauternes is a delightful way to close the evening, accompanied by nostalgic stories rather than heated debates.

Pouring Gratitude and Grace

Thanksgiving is more than just a day—it’s a dance of old traditions and new experiences, food and family, joy and loss. It’s a reminder that even the most challenging gatherings can be softened by the simple act of sharing a meal and raising a glass. The wine you choose can enhance the flavors of the day, but more importantly, it can offer moments of pause, connection, and understanding.

This year, as you plan your feast, remember that the date may shift, the menu may change, and the faces around the table may not be the same as years past. But the spirit of Thanksgiving—much like a well-aged bottle—is enduring, resilient, and best enjoyed with a little patience, a lot of love, and the perfect glass of wine. Cheers 🍷

Cover Photo Credit: Marjory Collins, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons